They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
