first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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