So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
