where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize