Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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