If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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