i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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