At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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