i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize