The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
