just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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