And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
