So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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