I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
