On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Actions speak louder than pants.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
