So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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