I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
