there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
