I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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