You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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