he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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