I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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