he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
