Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
