Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I did not marry a roomba.
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