Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
