It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
