I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
