yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
