I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize