it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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