I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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