after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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