So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
