2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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