Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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