Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You're like the curious george of whores
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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