Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
