Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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