dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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