I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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