he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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