at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
