I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
