420 ftw
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
