I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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