im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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