yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
