i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
