Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
