Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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