Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she smelled like a LAN party
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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