That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
