Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
