So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
