Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize