I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
