It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
