The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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