well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
