There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
