Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
this is an emotional support booty call
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
