I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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