I'm drive I can fine osifer
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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