Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Im part way to drunk.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
