Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
