Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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