it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
