Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
