My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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